Today is the day!

In 8 hours, the house I am currently sitting in will no longer be mine.  In 3 hours after that, we will own (hahaha, owe on) a new, roomier house that is better suited to our family.

I am excited.  I am nervous.  I am sad.

Is it weird to be sad?  We've lived in this house for almost 12 years.  I still remember the teddy bear border and pink walls in Chris's room, and the book border in our room (I am ashamed at how long it took us to take down that book border... but that's another story).
I remember the hideous, heavy green curtains in the living room.  And the nice collection of furniture we had, I liked to call it "70s garage sale chic".  We utilized tv trays quite often- end tables, printer stand. (wait... I'm using a tv tray for my laptop right now.  Are we still broke?  shit.)  Looking back at pictures from then, this tiny house looked so empty. And so very white.,

And now, it is bursting at the seams.  It is time to move on.

I think about all the memories in this house.

The excitement of owning our first home.
Raising our babies here... pacing the floors trying to get them to sleep.  I remember we had an old, ugly as sin futon in the living room, and I would sleep with the babies out here so that Jimmy could get a good night's sleep. (this is also where jimmy slept when my snoring was bad... oops)

All the family dinners we have hosted. All the holidays.  Memories of my mom in this house.  Her last time to come to a family dinner is forever etched in my mind.  All the love and pain and joy and sorrow has happened here, in this 1600 square foot house that I have loved and hated at different times throughout the years.

This house has been good to us, and I am so happy to be selling it to my brother and his family.  I am so happy that my nephews will be raised here, and that I can still come to visit.  I can't wait to see what they do with the house, how they update it, how they decorate it.  How they will grow in this house like we did.

I sit here, in the quiet early morning while everyone else is asleep.  Everything is packed.  The movers come tomorrow.  By Sunday, this house will be pretty much empty.  And I know I will cry as I leave the keys behind (which I will do, even though I told my brother I would keep one and sneak in the house while he is sleeping and stare at him like a creep), but I will also be so excited for new memories in a new house, because everything that really matters will be making the move with me.