I'm not talking about a relationship with a person. I'm talking about my relationship with food.
I'm not sure how I developed this relationship. Maybe it comes from being southern. We have a tendency to throw food at any problem, event, celebration, etc. And it's always good (bad?) food.
For example, when my mother was ill and we were caring for her, we had more food, pies, cakes than we could handle. (I've never seen so much potato salad in my life). I gained twenty pounds in those months.
Even when we were responsible for our on meals, we chose badly. We needed comfort. We needed fried and crunchy and cheesy and sweet. We need chips and candy and snacks. We "deserved" it. Our mom was dying.
But why do we think that good makes us feel better? Why do we turn to food for comfort? Or reward? Or celebration?
Does food make you feel better in the long run, or is it a temporary feeling? Would a new pair of shoes satisfy you longer than an expensive, unhealthy dinner out? Probably. But we still reach for food in these circumstances.
I am currently trying to undo the damage of those few months. Prior to her diagnosis, I had lost weight, built muscle and felt so much better. It took me a long time to get back in the habit of going to the gym. But now I go daily with little trouble.
Food I still struggle with. I am trying hard to retrain myself. To look at food as fuel for my body. To have a better balanced diet, where I am able to have an occasional treat without either extreme guilt or without a full on binge.
Wish me luck!
Wife, boy-mom, restaurant manager. Life is insane, and I kinda like it :-)
I think it's very easy for humans to develop an unhealthy relationship with food. I mean if you think about it since we were born, we've used food for more than just fuel. It's always been a form of comfort, love, relaxation. When we were babies, we intertwined comfort and love with food. It's normal. I think it's when we are eating to such excess that we feel out of control or sick that we need to look inward and try to figure out what we are trying to get from that food. We must be lacking something that we need , comfort/love etc and are trying to get it strictly from food. I think if we figure out what we are really needing in that moment, then we can have a break through of sorts. Or we as humans just really love tasty foods. Could be that too. lol Just some deep thoughts for your Sunday night. ;)
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